Brain Damage

Weird title, right? I'm in a Pink Floyd mood today. Don't judge me.

In fact, you should all be so proud of me today! I woke up BEFORE 11 a.m., and was dressed and out the door (on my bike) by about 9:15!!

I have just returned from my exhilarating ride. This is what I look like-

You're welcome, by the way. I don't think anyone can handle this much hot this early.

This morning's workout was.... exciting? I think that might be the word for it.

I started out and saw my friend, Christina, but she seemed mighty engrossed in her phone so I kept on riding- that and it was just too early in the ride to stop and chat. I got to ride by work, stop for a train (Trains in State Center?? No Way!), see Jesse driving in his work truck, go by my old apartment... but this isn't the exciting part of my ride.

As I was riding on the left hand side of the road (read SIDE of the road), as you are supposed to so you can see traffic coming and avoid it, some jerk face pulled into an intersection DIRECTLY in front of me. I'm assuming that he didn't bother looking right since he was turning that way and just checked out oncoming traffic from his left- Well, hello! I very narrowly avoided being schmucked by this schmuck.

As it was heating up and I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest (no thanks to the man in that vehicle), I decided to call it a workout and head home... The fact that my legs felt like jelly had absolutely nothing to do with it, right??

At least today I made it almost entirely around State Center! See? I'm already making progress and it's only day 2!!

I think later today I'll do some squats/push-ups/crunches and what have you. I'll keep you all updated!

Until we sweat again!

Burns So Good

Alright ladies (and maybe some guys) follow this link to listen to the track I feel best accompanies this blog.

Oh my, is it really July already??

Let's see... since I last blogged (March. Youch.) I have been trying to stay in shape by riding a bicycle around like a crazy person. A bicycle lent to me by my lovely friend, Amber. (This would be the first shout out of the blog today!)

I moved at the end of June and hadn't really found time to cycle since the move- which is just another way of saying "I'm a big ol' lazy lady."

Cest la vie.

Since the move, I put a halt to pretty much anything other than the frequent walk to my refrigerator. Amazingly, despite all of the bread, and bacon, and hashbrowns, (because these are my staple foods), I have LOST weight. Granted, I suspect this is because I have lost muscle and gained fat, but I apparently don't look like a giant slob, so there's that.

I have also (very) recently picked up walking with my good friend, Cindy. We're both pretty sure her husband enjoys that she has a gal pal to spend time with... or at least that's what we tell ourselves and hope it catches on. :)

Today-

I pulled on my poor, neglected sports bra, my old Nat'l Guard t-shirt, and some biking shorts, and put my tennis shoes to good use.

I won't lie, I didn't go very far. When I was at my peak, I was riding my bike around the perimeter of the town, then riding either North and South, or East and West, on every street. Today, I took several shortcuts and made it about halfway around the town. (Total. It was bad.)

I got home covered in sweat, chugged some Gatorade, and collapsed on my couch.. until I realized my fan was in the other room and immediately relocated myself to DIRECTLY in front of it.

I really want to get back into the swing of being obsessed with staying in shape and telling you all exactly how crappy it is, because I know a group of you ladies (and guys) that were definitely gaining some strength and confidence, and all through my smart mouth blog. If you'd be willing to continue reading as I try to get back into the swing of all of this, let me know and I'll continue blogging and sharing my awkward, embarrassingly hilarious tales of how I'm doing fitness-wise.

Until we sweat again!

Slackin'

Go turn on Scream and Shout by Will.I.Am and The Britney Spears.

For no other reason than it being a freaking phenomenal song.

Hello there, my interweb friends!!

I know, I know. That last time I blogged was a month ago. However, in that time I've been working a full time job and let's all be real- I am incapable of accomplishing more than one job at a time, and working out can feel like a full time job sometimes.

I have successfully maintained my weight (although I'm not sure how because good lord can I go through a basket of onion rings...) but I have been told by my lady doctor that its in my best interest to keep on workin' it out like a BOSS because a) a healthy lady is always attractive, and b) I am past the age where eating fried foods and sitting on my ass is a good combo.

At 23: I never thought I'd still look this good.

I never thought I'd feel this sexy.

I never thought I'd look in a mirror and actually say out loud "damn I'm small."

Now, some of you might disagree with me, and to you I say, "I'm not working out to please YOU. I'm doing it for ME. And to ME, I look damn fabulous."

*Steps off soap box*

TODAY: I did the "I Love My Arms" workout, since as a bartender you see my arms moving all over the place, and no one wants to tip a flabby arm.

That's what's up!!!

I also did 100 jumping jacks, 50 butt kicks, 50 high knees, 40 lunges, and 40 squats. (My butt is going to be PHENOMENAL.)

What have you done lately to make yourself look HOT???

Let me know, kidlets! Until we sweat again!!

Self Love

Whoa whoa whoa- let's get our minds out of the gutter, shall we?

(Creeps)

As you are all aware, whether it be painfully or giddy, today is Valentine's Day!

And guess what??

You're all my Valentine's!!

(Whether you want it or not. This would be the forced love part of our program.)

Seeing as I have a fitness blog, I'm sure you're thinking "Why the hell is she doing a Valentine's day post??"

The answer is simple: I want to give you all a great big reminder that you are all hard working, beautiful women (and men), and today is a day that you should take a step back and realize just how wonderful you are.

(This is the Self Love portion of the post.)

I'm not saying be all... self-lovey or anything... I'm just saying, take a moment to think of all the reasons why you love yourself/are lovable.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay the moment's over, pay attention to me again.

Now, were any of those physical attributes?

A recent study that I just made up would show that 9 out of 10 of you wouldn't say anything physical- because that's not the most important thing here.

For instance, I love my sparkling personality, my zany sense of style, my sweet dance moves, my artistic side, and my rockin' vocals.

I won't call any of you out individually for fear of missing someone, but I will say to my readers:

(You decide which one you are!)

I love how bubbly you are. 

I love how the past 14 years have just flown past. 

I love that you and your hubby haven't left my side over the past few months.

I love how unafraid of change you are. 

I love how we still keep in touch after meeting ONE TIME at your WEDDING! 

I love that Montana isn't far enough to keep us from being close :) 

I love how you still talk about how drunk I got you on your 21st birthday. 

I love how wonderful of a mother you are. 

I love that you read my ramblings and find me humorous. 

I love how we can go forever without talking, and just pick the conversation up like a single day hasn't passed. 

I love that you're unafraid to just go get hitched! 

I love how strong you are. 

I love that I have you as family. 

I love that you're my little sister. 

I love that you're my best friend.

I love how caring you are

I love that you have stuck by me and given me support while I do this blog. You are all incredible and I wouldn't be making the progress I've made if it weren't for all of you.

Happy Valentine's day!

Big Boobed Betty

I am beyond frustrated.

(What a fun start to a blog post, huh?)

Alright ladies- here is my issue. My bra size is 32DDD.

*Insert pause here while you mutter the inevitable "Dayum!"*

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a bra in those exact measurements? I have the waist line of a 14 year old boy (not complaining) and the cup size of a pregnant woman. (NOT necessary at this point in life.)

"Check Victoria's Secret" they told me. False. Don't check Victoria's Secret. They'll just tell you to search online and you'll see all the cute bras saying "Not in YOUR size!"

Its super frustrating.

Oh sure, I could totally get the full-coverage, nude bra that makes me look like I'm smuggling two bowling balls around everywhere, but that just wouldn't be sexy, would it?

I'm 23. I'll be damned before I have to stop feeling sexy at this age.

I'm sure by now you're thinking, "What does this have to do with working out??" and I'm getting there, I promise.

It seems like every girl is always bitching about how when she loses weight, its from her chest first. I'm here to tell you- I'm SO incredibly jealous of those girls! I've lost weight in my ass (needed that), my thighs (also needed that) and my tummy (DEFINITELY needed that one), but my boobs have remained stubborn as ever. I know you're all thinking "Seriously stop whining about it, lucky bitch."

But seriously- they are aggravating. I'm tired of wearing the same bra unless its in the wash- then I'm tired of wearing a sports bra.

Every woman that is attempting to lose weight has some issue or another:

• I can't lose my tummy.
• I can't lose weight in my thighs.
• My ass is STILL giant.
• My arms are still all jiggly. (Still there, trust me.)

Mine just happens to be the rare "I can't lose weight in my boobs, and I don't know what else to do."

I'm reaching out to my ladies (and I guess boys? Are boys still reading right now? Because if so, you know more about my boobs than you should probably ever know...) to help me out here if you can. Do any of you know of any workout moves I could use to get my chesticles to calm down and be less all-up-in-my-face?

Any and all responses are super helpful! 

Until we sweat again----

I Just Wanna Make You Sweat

To better understand the title, other than the obvious reasons, go listen to Sweat by Snoop Dogg.

Best. Workout Song. EVER.

One more shot of my big ol' guns, please.

Who's feeling feisty? This girl.

I have a fun little workout for you guys! I know my list of crap that I do was sort of vague, and I had a lot of people asking me to get more specific.

I found this workout on a friend's Facebook page and decided to try it out, since it was similar to what I was already doing, only slightly more structured. Check it out, gals:

Easy Peasy, right?

I take the "Repeat 2x" to mean, "You should be doing this AT LEAST 3 times, skank. Hut to it." Feel free to interpret the "Repeat 2x" as you will.

Also, I LOVE this workout. I feel so spry.

So, I know I haven't really been posting progress, and that's mainly because I felt as if I wasn't making any. When the numbers on the scale refuse to budge, it can really make you feel like you aren't getting anywhere, which is frustrating...

Until you figure out that it is now possible to take your SKINNY JEANS on and off without undoing the button.

*Insert Happy Dance Here*

Pardon the facial expression... I lost weight. I get one free duck face.

Working out has become less "losing weight" for me and more "feeling INCREDIBLE afterwards, knowing that I'm healthier and feel sexier."

Also, I'm pleased to show you a before picture from July, followed very quickly by an after taken very recently:

Admittedly bigger than I really wanted to be.

Much tinier! Yay working out!!!

Yes, I'm a dirty cheater and am in a different pose in the second, as well as bent in half, but seriously? You can very obviously see the difference, which at first made me cringe. Now, I'm all "Dayum. 10 pounds shows up on a short girl."

Anywho- Sorry for the INSANE amount of pictures this week. I'm feeling a little jazzed up after my workout and went photo happy. So you had to read fewer words to get the gist of my schpeel- so sue me!

Until we sweat again- Happy Working out!

Aly Goes Insane

This week, as promised, my wonderful cousin Aly has written up a small piece on her experience with the Insanity program! Hopefully she can show you just how not scary it is (regardless of how frightening I made it sound) :)

Enjoy!

So let me just be the first one to say it: working out sucks.

It's not fun, it doesn't feel good, and you don't see results right away which is super irritating.

 

Ill be the first to also say: I refuse to be unhealthy/overweight. It's not happening.

So, guess what I'm doing?

INSANITY. 

And to no ones surprise, it is kicking my ass.

A group of coworkers and I decided to start being super cool and do insanity on our lunch hour (meaning I'm super attractive for the rest of the day) and it has just kinda stuck. We do it literally every day. It's nice because we all push each other and we all are working towards a goal (for me: looking AWESOME in my wedding dress in 5 months!)

I won't sugar coat a thing for you- insanity sucks. Sean T is like an abusive boyfriend. He beats me, makes me cry, and leaves me hurting for days....and I keep 

crawling back to him. Ugh.

I am starting to see results after 3 weeks which I am super pumped about!

I have also been using "My Fitness Pal" which is a free app that rocks my world. Check it out! It has been helping me track my food (which does not consist of cheeseburgers and caffeine anymore, unfortunately) and helps me track the calories I burn during my workouts! Very cool.

If you're like me, get a buddy to work out with you who wont let you slack. If I don't have someone expecting me at the gym I won't go- which is why this is working out so well.

Drink water, watch what you eat (but DON'T deprive yourself), work that booty every single day, and set realistic weekly goals for yourself. Being healthy isn't a crash diet- it's a lifestyle change. Make changes you can live with and decide what's most important in your life.

So far, I'm down 3 pounds and feeling much better about my overall health (even though the whole no caffeine thing is killing me). I challenge you to make a goal for yourself that you can reach by the end of the week and exceed it.

Willpower, baby. You've got to find it.