Thursday, August 20, 2015

Girly Workout

Hello, readers!!

"Wow- what a lame title."

I agree. That should be spicier, right?

Recently, someone told me that my workouts were girly and, to put it a little shorter, basically not real workouts.

Definition of a Workout: N. Anything that makes you sweat.... V. the performance of any physical act that causes perspiration.

(I made those up... obviously.)

I'm sharing this ridiculousness with you, dear readers, because I know several of you that do the same workouts I do, shortly after I post my thoughts on said workouts. (There will be a follow up to this later in this post..)

Today's "Non-workout" consisted of....
50 Air Squats
50 of those reverse crunches where your legs go up
50 Push ups
50 Lunges

Not a ton, but it made me sweat and burned some calories.

Now here's the question- does that constitute a workout, or have I just wasted my time?

When you ladies and gentlemen use any of the apparent "non-workouts" that I post on the blog, does it count as a workout to you?

To me, they're legitimate workouts, and anyone who says differently is just lame.

To prove how efficient today's workout was, I will now post gross pictures.


I'm getting a little definition... Yay!

Admittedly could work on my back...

Clearly one arm is more buff....
Do any of you have any girly totally kick butt workouts to get my back in shape?? If so, share them here!! And if any of you would like to do a guest spot in which you share your favorite workout, please let me know! I'd love to share your enthusiasm to help inspire others!

Until we sweat again!

Friday, July 17, 2015


"Don't stop when it hurts, stop when you're done."

Today, I suffered through the full extent of that phrase.

As you all probably didn't even care to know, cheerleading for the school with which I am currently employed begins in 1 month and 8 days. Through much tedious planning (read: Pinterest) I have come up with workouts to get my girls in shape... the only foreseeable problem being that I myself am out of shape and need to be able to not only do the workout with the girls, but be able to instruct them while doing such.

Enter today's first trial of the "Oh, those will be so simple, I'll do all 3" workout session.

Here's what these "Oh, those will be so simple, I'll do all 3" workouts look like:

THIS is not a ONE SONG workout. More like 2 1/2.

So super simple, right??


First of all, whenever it said to do anything like butt kicks, or Russian twists, or bicycles.. I took that to mean double the amount, because that number for each leg, right??


Icona Pop's "I Love It" is not NEARLY long enough for all they're asking you to do, at least not if you're doing it properly... meaning the way I just described. That, to me, would yield the best results, right???


Secondly, Kanye West's "Power" is the LONGEST SONG EVER. There's just no need to have that much extra music, unless you're going SUPER slow. I even doubled up on everything (you know, like you should), and there was still about 2 minutes left over. Ridiculous.

Finally, wall sits suck. Period.

So now I pose the question to you all- are these workouts too ridiculous for my cheerleaders? And if so, what suggestions would you have for an alternative workout?

Maybe give them a try for yourself and let me know from personal experience? Yeah??!?
(Disclaimer- make sure you search for the CLEAN version of the songs. Real life.)

Until we sweat again!

Oh- and the title refers to the amount of sweat that came out of my disgusting self today. Buckets. Seriously. It was gross.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Back On That Grind

Hey everyone!

Wow it's been awhile!

Some new things- I left Sioux City and have moved into my new home in Ames. I now live with 2 girls that are much younger than I, and if that doesn't make your self esteem do a big "Wah Wah Waaaahhhhh" I don't know what does.

Totally kidding! But, it does make you go, "You know what... I could make my body look like that." And pushes your otherwise totally vanished workout drive back into full gear.

However, because I am now paying for a place to live as well as my other financial responsibilities, getting a gym membership is looking like it just isn't going to happen.

Enter home workouts!!

About a week ago, I took a screen shot of a Morning Workout, and tried that one out today. Let me just be the first to say that holy cow, I am out of shape.

This was the workout. I changed a few things to what I felt would be the most beneficial. By that I mean it looked more like this...

100 Jumping Jacks
20 Wall Push Ups (I'll get there, friends.)
50 Sit Ups
50 Squats
100 Jump Ropes

Admittedly, next time I will probably find another set of 20 to do (Maybe another set of push ups??) to make it go 100-20-50-50-20-100 because I'm weird.

Do any of you have any at home workout suggestions to get my butt back in gear??

Please let me know!

Until we sweat again!!

Monday, April 6, 2015


Spring break has come and gone- taking with it all my hard work to get me into crop tops and tight skirts.

Surprise! I'm back at square one!! ...... again.

I thought I was being such a good girl on vacation. The initial drive to Ohio, I ate very minimally. I had my 300 calorie Gluten-Free adult version of a Lunchable, ate Larabars, and guzzled water like a fiend.

That's when Steak N' Shake happened.

After that, it was all downhill. I couldn't keep my hands off of food. It didn't matter to me if it was Gluten-Free pasta, Gluten-Free lasagna, Gluten-Free brownies, or Popeyes- If it was food, I found a way to eat as much of it as possible.

This week, I feel like a cow. (I know, positive self talk is the way to go, but for real. I feel HUGE.) This leads me to what I need to do, and how my friends, family, and dear readers can help me out!

1. I need to chill out when it comes to eating. For real.
2. I need to get back into the workout groove. (I'll elaborate below)
3. I need to be HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

1) I can eat food ALL DAY if given the opportunity and enough variety of choices. I honestly have days where I live to eat, which should NEVER be the purpose of food. Food is there to keep you nourished and healthy, not to fill your gut until you burst.
(Must remember this....)

2) My workout groove!! Along with my 21 Day Fix dvds, I have decided to partake in a 30 day 30 Burpees challenge. Basically, I have to do 30 burpees every day for 30 days. I can break them up however I want, as long as I get 30 done. (Burpees suck, by the way. I hate them and they do not make me feel happy.)

3) That whole accountability thing.... This is where you all come in! I have a hard time saying no to unhealthy food, and yes to fitness and actually working out. (I'm usually forced to do it kicking and screaming.) I need all of you to basically be total jerk wads about my fitness goals. If you see me snacking on a donut, I give you full leave to take it directly from my hand and run water over the thing before tossing it into the garbage. Same goes for sugar filled sweets and sodas. Seriously- the bigger jerk you are about it, the less likely I am to have a repeat offense.
Also, I'm not even sure how many of you are actually reading this, but I need to hear something from you all to let me know there are people counting on me to get my ass up and WORK OUT!! (Even if it's just for the comedic experience of my after thoughts. I'm not picky!)

This is me- 2 months away from summer- getting my butt toned and ready to go!!

Until we sweat again!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Thanks to Me

Recently, I read a quote that went a little something like this...

At first, I took this as "Put down the donut. Your future self will thank you for not giving her crippling abdominal pain and bloating."

Then, it slowly morphed into, "Take the stairs- it'll hurt later, but your future self is going to have a great butt!"

Finally, I arrived to Monday- when I took one look at the beautiful weather and thought "....A run actually sounds kind of good..."

Well, my past self was thinking of my future self and they tag teamed up for this little photo op:

A great big THANKS to me!!

Pay no attention to me wearing virtually the EXACT same outfit.....

That's right- I high-fived myself 6 days apart!! 

Since that first day, I've been trying to get myself out to run just 1 mile every day- and so far I've been off to a good start! But I have to give a giant shout out to past me, because if I hadn't started that first day, I wouldn't be running still. (Which you all know is something I normally loathe entirely.)

You have to go back and read that in the Grinch's voice, btw.
What's something you plan on doing for YOUR future self? Comment on here or on Facebook- or better yet, tell a friend! Get them inspired to join you! Suffer together!!!

Until we sweat again!!

Monday, March 9, 2015

Spring Fever

I know you've all been bursting at the seams to read my next blog post and I have been bursting as well- with sickness.

Your biggest question: "What do you mean, you were sick??" My answer: "Seriously just don't ask. It's not cute."

Your second question: "How'd the 21 Day Fix Extreme go!?!?" My answer: "Eh- again this loops back to the being sick junk. I made it through a grand total of 11 days and got hit HARD with nastiness of all kinds, which made working out completely impossible. However, I'm back on the 21 Day Fix Extreme grind once more and will post before and after pics in a few shorts weeks!"

Now- I know I have readers from all over, but I'm assuming most of you are from Iowa (cause, you know, I don't know many people from anywhere else.) The weather here has gone from bitterly cold to Spring in a matter of .2 seconds and we all know what that means!


I recently told someone that I HATE running. I despise it. My legs get all crampy and my running pants slide down my butt and my chest is a freaking spectacle to passersby... UGH. And when they pointed out that running is great because of all the wonderful scenery, I was a little like, "Yeah I suppose... if you're anyone but me since I just stare at the ground the whole time so I don't trip over a piece of gravel and face plant in front of God and everyone." (Can you tell I have issues with being a klutz?)

Then, after school today, I had a strange powerful urge to go for a run. Nothing huge, just a quick mile to get myself moving. (I mostly just wanted an excuse to rock my brand new Under Armour headband. Seriously adorable.)

I walked the first really huge hill because I had to get warmed up, right? Riiiight. After that, I reached the first straight stretch and just kept thinking "Left, right, left, right, left, right..." (Seriously. That is all I'm thinking while I run. "Just don't die, just don't die...") Before I knew it, I was cruising right on past families walking their dogs and college kids hanging out outside... I felt like a total champ- like Rocky Balboa (...only doing WAY less work.)

Oh Yes. Love me some Rocky.

This is where the urge to potty hit me like a brick wall. I've been told that as you get older, you start to need to potty more often. I, however, didn't think this would start happening at the age of 25. All I can say is it was a MIRACLE that I was a few houses away from my friend and boss whose darling children let me in to use the ladies' room (and snag a quick sip of water) and I was off again.

The restroom break really threw a wrench in my stride. My legs had tasted the sweet temptation of NOT running, and they were in no hurry to leave their state of rest. I legitimately tried to run up hills and down hills and along straightaways, but it was useless. My legs were lead. I ultimately jog-walked the last half mile home where I sat on the front steps, stripped off my jacket, and thoroughly enjoyed the cool breeze for the first time today. I even took a selfie.

Moments later, I would realize my neighbor was watching me. Creeeeeeeeeepy.

This is good! I ran... and I didn't even die! Just think of all the wonderful possibilities ahead of me. I could actually get some cardio in that doesn't involve Autumn Calabrese yammering on the whole time. Yay!!! (Also, Under Armour headband. Cute, right??)

What are you doing to take advantage of this gorgeous weather?!

Until we sweat again!!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015


It's no secret, I'm dieting learning to eat healthy by starvation learning more realistic portion sizes with the constant nagging help of the she devil lovely Autumn Calabrese.

It's also no secret that I would commit murder for a freaking Jitters donut right about now. (It's a Sioux City thing. As in, totally worth the trip to Sioux City. For real.)

So, the craving thing. How exactly are you supposed to get over it? Because it SUCKS.

I've read up on it and here's what I've come up with so far:

It's kind of hard to read, but the gist of it is this:

If you want........
Chocolate- eat seeds and veggies and fruit
Sweets- eat fruit, veggies, and nuts
Breads/Pastas- eat leafy greens, nuts, and seeds
Oily/Fatty Foods- eat broccoli, asparagus, and figs
Coffee/Tea- eat Veggies, nuts, celery, and tomatoes
Salty Foods- eat Celery, tomatoes, nuts, and seeds
Soda- eat Broccoli, asparagus, and figs
PMS Cravings- eat Pumpkin seeds, leafy greens, and veggies

Basically, if you want to eat something not on your approved dietary list, just shove fruits, veggies, seeds, and nuts in your mouth because they're obviously a cure all.

I personally am not a huge fan of just NOT eating anything that you crave. Do I think you should go ape on a box of chocolates? Absolutely not. However, I think if you're having a huge craving for chocolate, you should be okay with having a small piece and moving on.

Recently, with this new workout, I've been putting an ungodly amount of chopped, frozen fruit in my water bottle to give it a little flavor, so that when those sudden urges to chow down hit me, I can chug some water and still get some flavor. (Because no one is appeased by just straight H2O. Let's be honest.) After about half an hour, if I'm still feeling really hungry, I'll let myself have a small treat (or more if it's something healthy.)

Which brings us to another way to tell if you're actually hungry, or if you just want to be eating.

Each time you're hungry, and think about grabbing a handful of chips or a cookie, instead, think of preparing a salad. Think of getting out the spinach, slicing cherry tomatoes, slicing a cucumber, etc. If you aren't hungry enough to go through all of that work, you aren't really hungry. (Try it. It's fool proof... Unless you're me. I almost always just grab a small piece of chocolate. Don't be me.)

Basically, dieting learning to eat healthy sucks. You're all a bunch of crazies if you're doing any of this along with me.

However, I cannot express how much I appreciate all of you sticking this journey out with me. In the words of some rando on Pinterest...

Until we sweat again!